A record for descriptive horror

The Sun and the News of the World have never contained their reporting of their horror at the case of Karen Matthews and maybe this opening to the NOW's lead story shows how much they abhor the family

EVIL Karen Matthews had a sick SECRET AFFAIR with the misfit who helped kidnap her daughter Shannon, we can reveal today.
The twisted mum seduced sinister Michael Donovan at the FUNERAL of her pervert partner Craig Meehan’s dad.

Is this a record for the number of descriptive adjectives in an opening par