FT hacks Coulson

Alex Barker has a little fun over the FT's Westminster Blog

“Hi Andy it’s Sue. The Guardian have called again. I told him you had no comment. But he says he’s going to stand outside CCHQ and call every hour until you say something. Just thought you should know.”

“Andy it’s me. DON’T forget the milk on your way home. And remember it’s no Blackberry night tonight. Luv ya Peachy.”

“Rupert here. You’d better call.”

“Hello Andy it’s Paul Livers calling from C-Rap PR. Hope you’re sitting down ’cause we’ve got a Grrreat story for your Bizarre column….”

“Andy, look, I’ve seen the photos of Dave and, alright, they’re not the most flattering. But I don’t see what you think I could have done. I’m not bloody watching over the shoulder of every picture editor in this place. And the idea that I’m going to order them to use only pictures of his left hand side…look, give just give us a call. I’m around this evening.”

“Andy, it’s Peter here. The Telegraph are damn well at it again. They’re obsessed with this one blasted claim I made four years ago, really very boring, the wife insisted on getting the damn thing. I can’t believe it will make a story, it’s dashed dull and the fees office didn’t even give me the money for it. But, just in case, it might be worth me talking you through it.”